“My,don't you have pretty eyes," he says. "It's a shame the rest of you is so plain."My heart pounds. I tug my hand back, but his grip tightens. I smell something acrid and unpleasant on his breath."You look a little young to be walking around by yourself,dear," he says.I stop tugging, and stand up straighter. I know I look young; I don't need to be reminded. "I'm older than I look," I retort. "I'm sixteen."His lips spread wide, revealing a gray molar with a dark pit in the side. I can't tell if he's smiling or grimacing. "Then isn't today a special day for you? The day before you choose?""Let go of me," I say. I hear rining in my ears. My voice sounds clear and stern-not what I expected to hear. I feel like it doesn't belong to me.I am ready.I know what to do. I picture myself bringing my elbow back and hitting him. I see the bag of apples flying away from me. I hear my running footsteps. I am prepared to act.But then he releases my wrist, takes the apples,and says, "Choose wisely, little girl.”

“You okay?" he says, touching my cheek. His hand cradles the side of my head, his long fingers slipping through my hair. He smiles and holds my head in place as he kisses me. Heat spreads through me slowly.And fear, buzzing like an alarm in my chest.His lips still on mine,he pushes the jacket from my shoulders.I flinch when I hear it drop,and push him back,my eyes burning. I don't know why I feel this way. I didn't feel like this when he kissed me on the train.I press my palms to my face,covering my eyes."What? What's wrong?"I shake my head."Don't tell me it's nothing." His voice is cold.He grabs my arm. "Hey. Look at me."I take my hands from my face and lift my eyes to his.The hurt in his eyes and the anger in his clenched jaw surprise me."Sometimes I wonder," I say,as calmly as I can, "what's in it for you. This...whatever it is.""What's in it for me," he repeats. He steps back,shaking his head. "You're an idiot,Tris.""I am not an idiot," I say. "Which is why I know that it's a little weird that,of all the girls you could have chosen,you chose me.So if you're just looking for...um,you know...that...""What? Sex?" He scowls at me. "You know, if that was all I wanted, you probably wouldn't be the first person I would go to."I feel like he just punched me in the stomach. Of course I'm not the first person he would go to-not the first, not the prettiest,not desirable. I press my hands to my abdomen and look away, fighting off tears. I am not the crying type.Nor am I the yelling type. I blink a few times, lower my hands, and stare up at him."I'm going to leave now," I say quietly. And I turn toward the door."No,Tris." He grabs my wrist and wrenches me back. I push him away,hard, but he grabs my other wrist, holding our crossed arms between us."I'm sorry I said that," he says. "What I meant was that you aren't like that. Which I knew when I met you.""You were an obstacle in my fear landscape." My lower lip wobbles. "Did you know that?""What?" He releases my wrists, and the hurt look is back. "You're afraid of me?""Not you," I say. I bite my lip to keep it still. "Being with you...with anyone. I've never been involved with someone before,and...you're older, and I don't know what your expectations are,and...""Tris," he says sternly, "I don't know what delusion you're operating under,but this is all new to me, too.""Delusion?" I repeat. "You mean you haven't..." I raise my eyebrows. "Oh. Oh.I just assumed..." That because I am so absorbed by him, everyone else must be too. "Um. You know.""Well,you assumed wrong." He looks away. His cheeks are bright,like he's embarrassed. "You can tell me anything, you know," he says. He takes my face in his hands,his fingertips cold and his palms warm. "I am kinder than I seemed in training. I promise."I believe him.But this has nothing to do with his kindness.He kisses me between the eyebrows, and on the tip of my nose,and then carefully fits his mouth to mine. I am on edge.I have electricity coursing through my veins instead of blood. I want him to kiss me,I want him to; I am afraid of where it might go.”

“I have something I need to tell you," he says. I run my fingers along the tendons in his hands and look back at him. "I might be in love with you." He smiles a little. "I'm waiting until I'm sure to tell you, though.""That's sensible of you," I say, smiling too. "We should find some paper so you can make a list or a chart or something."I feel his laughter against my side, his nose sliding along my jaw, his lips pressing my ear."Maybe I'm already sure," he says, "and I just don't want to frighten you."I laugh a little. "Then you should know better.""Fine," he says. "Then I love you.”

“So if you're trying to play games with me, I should let you know up front that it's not going to work."What?" I frown "what are you talking abou-""You can't play hard to get, kid." He raises his eyebrow. "I can't even touch you. Takes 'hard to get' to a whole new level, if you know what I mean." "Oh my god," I mouth, eyes closed, shaking my head. "You are insane." He falls to his knees. "Insane for your sweet, sweet love!" "Kenji" I can't lift my eyes because I'm afraid to look around, but I'm desperate for him to stop talking. To put an entire room between us at all times. I know he's joking, but I might be the only one. "What?" he says, his voice booming around the room. "Does my love embarass you?" "Please-please get up-and lower your voice-" "Hell no.""Why not?" I'm pleading now. "Because if I lower my voice, I won't be able to hear myself speak. And that," He says, "Is my faviorite part."I can't even look at him."Don't deny my Juliette I'm a lonely man."What is wrong with you?""You're breaking my heart." His voice is even louder now,”

“You look different." His words, normally crisp,are now sluggish."So do you," I say.And he does-he looks more relaxed,younger. "What are you doing?""Flirting with death," he replies with a laugh. "Drinking near the chasm. Probably not a good idea.""No,it isn't" I'm not sure I like Four this way.There's something unsettling about it."Didn't know you had a tattoo," he says, looking at my collarbone.He sips the bottle. His breath smells thick and sharp.Like the factionless man's breath."Right.The crows," he says. He glances over his shoulder at his friends, who are carrying on without him, unlike mine. He adds, "I'd ask you hang out with us, but you're not supposed to see me this way."I am tempted to ask him why he wants to hang out with him,but I suspect the answer has something to do with the bottle in his hand."What way?" I ask. "Drunk?"Yeah...well,no." His voice softens. "Real,I guess.""I'll pretend I didn't.""Nice of you." He puts his lips next to my ear and says, "You look good, Tris."His words surprise me,and my heart leaps. I wish it didn't,because judging by the way his eyes slide over mine, he has no idea what he's saying. I laugh. "Do me a favor and stay away from the chasm,okay?""Of course." He winks at me.I can't help it.I smile.Will clears his throat,but I don't want to turn away from Four,even when he walks back to his friends.Then Al rushes at me like a rolling boulder and throws me over his shoulder. I shriek,my face hot."Come on,little girl," he says, "I'm taking you to dinner."I rest my elbows on Al's back and wave at Four as he carries me away.”

“I can’t sleep,” he says so quietly that only I can hear. “I can’t sleep. I can’t sleep. I can’t sleep.”“Nor I.”“You neither?”“No.”“Truly?”“Yes.”He sighs a deep sigh, as if he is relieved. “Is this love then?”“I suppose so.”“I can’t eat.”“No.”“I can’t think of anything but you. I can’t go on another moment like this; I can’t ride out into battle like this. I am as foolish as a boy. I am mad for you, like a boy. I cannot be without you; I will not bewithout you. Whatever it costs me.”I can feel my color rising like heat in my cheeks, and for the first time in days I can feel myself smile. “I can’t think of anything but you,” I whisper. “Nothing. I thought I was sick.”The ring like a crown is heavy in my pocket, my headdress is pulling at my hair; but I stand without awareness, seeing nothing but him, feeling nothing but his warm breath on my cheek and scentingthe smell of his horse, the leather of his saddle, and the smell of him: spices, rosewater, sweat.“I am mad for you,” he says.I feel my smile turn up my lips as I look into his face at last. “And I for you,” I say quietly. “Truly.”