“I only know two pieces; one is 'Clair de Lune' and the other one isn't.”

“One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didn't have a fireplace.”

“Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.”

“Laughter is the closest distance between two people.”

“The shortest distance between two people is a smile.”

“(Referring to the piano's natural shape) Isn't it a shame when those big fat opera singers lean against the pianos and bend them?”

“I normally don't do requests. Unless, of course, I have been asked to do so.”