“One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didn't have a fireplace.”

“Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people once a year”

“I only know two pieces; one is 'Clair de Lune' and the other one isn't.”

“I normally don't do requests. Unless, of course, I have been asked to do so.”

“I'd like to thank my parents for making this night possible. And my children for making it necessary.”

“Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.”

“He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.”