“Speak up, Charlie,” I say. “If you have something to say, then say it out loud.”

“I love you, Charlie," I say. "I fucking love you so much.”

“Her quasi-smile blossoms. "I shouldn't be scared," she says, and it sounds like something between a statement and a question."You should be terrified," I say. Because I'm going to show you dance moves that'll have you begging for my shit.”

“Max is going through my overnight bag when I get back to Wink Hotel. My favorite part about this is that he doesn't stop when I walk in the room."Hey," he says. He pulls out my black Hugo Boss dress hirt, then holds it up to his nose and sniffs loudly."Dude. Stop." I pull the shirt from his hands and toss it on the bed."I just love your scent," he says in a chick voice."You and everyone else, my friend.”

“Big surprise. You didn't dress up.""I came as Awesome Sauce," I say. "You probably wouldn't recognize it.”

“I'll never understand the friendships Charlie has. Friendships where it doesn't take cash or hookups, or saying the right things to stay in the circle. No, Charlie's friendships are different. She tries to protect her people, and they in turn protect her. They accept each other's imperfections and support one another. My friends weren't like her friends, which makes me wonder if I ever had any at all.”

“In this trunk," she says with a serious face, "is God's gift to women.""Chocolate?""No.""Midol?""What? No.""Tampons?""Stop guessing," she says.”