“This morning, I'm relishing the perks of working for the Underworld. I press my foot down on the accelerator, and the deep rumble of my candy apple-red Escalade growls. My new baby girl has black leather, Bose surround sound, and twenty-two inch rimes. Match.com couldn't have created a happier couple.”

“The front door is painted a rich, bright red. The corners of my mouth curl into a smile. Have I mentioned my love affair with red? It's a beautiful, trusting relationship. Nothing coated in such a wondrous color could ever be bad.”

“Her quasi-smile blossoms. "I shouldn't be scared," she says, and it sounds like something between a statement and a question."You should be terrified," I say. Because I'm going to show you dance moves that'll have you begging for my shit.”

“I nod and smile and smile and nod, and when she turns away, I form a gun with my hand, place it to my temple, and pull the trigger. This girl is starved for attention. It's amazing to me when people are totally unaware of how bad they are at socializing.”

“All the way down the stairs and into the kitchen, Charlie yaps away. I nod and smile and smile and nod, and when she turns away, I form a gun with my hand, place it to my temple, and pull the trigger.”

“Max is going through my overnight bag when I get back to Wink Hotel. My favorite part about this is that he doesn't stop when I walk in the room."Hey," he says. He pulls out my black Hugo Boss dress hirt, then holds it up to his nose and sniffs loudly."Dude. Stop." I pull the shirt from his hands and toss it on the bed."I just love your scent," he says in a chick voice."You and everyone else, my friend.”

“She raises her hands and places them on either side of my face. My skin burns beneath her touch. 'I think you're beautiful.'I smile, thinking she's done. But she releases my face and places her palms on my chest, directly over my heart.'You're beautiful right here,' she says.I close my eyes, and the breath rushes from my lungs.'I see the good in you, Dante,' Charlie continues, her words rolling together off her tongue. 'Even if you don't, I do. You have a good heart. You know how I know?'I open my eyes. She's looking at me like nothing else in the world exists. Like the entire planet and all of mankind just vanished. She slowly wraps my hands inside her own as best she can and places them on her chest. 'Because I feel it here.' She taps our hands against her chest. 'I know you're good, Dante. Because I feel it inside of me.”