“Damn, but it was a night, Ned! Now, not to be outdone, it appears our reverend mother Hayes is inspired by Captain Cook's latest voyage to the South Pacific.""I give the woman credit for creativity." Ned laughed. "Have you read John Hawkesworth's account of the voyage?"Ludovic's brows lifted ever so slightly. "Come now, Ned, do I truly look like a man who entertains himself with books?”

“Jenny: Ned, I am having difficulties forming the image of the woman you should marry in my mind. Tell me, how do you imagine your ideal woman?"Ned: Oh, She's exactly like you. Except younger.Jenny: Whatever do you mean? She's clever? Witty?Ned: No. I mean she's dependable and honest.The mysterious smile slipped from Jenny's lips for the barest instant, and she looked at him in appalled and flattered horror. If this was how Ned assessed character, he would end up married to a street thief in no time at all.”

“Ned looked to DeVere. "You are the master of mayhem. Any brilliant ideas?""If we want him to leave the gate, we must provide proper motivation," DeVere answered."Such as?" Phoebe prompted."Let us keep to the basics, my pet. Men are primarily moved by either their stomachs or their cocks. If we cannot tempt the one, it must be the other."Ned glared. "What are you suggesting?""Our little chambermaid can take the blighter off by offering him a hand job.""The hell she will!" Ned barked before Phoebe could answer for herself. "Think of something else!""Come now, Ned. She'll be well compensated for her trouble. He laughed. "Hell, for a thousand, I might be tempted to do it myself."A WILD NIGHT'S BRIDE”

“Ned, have you considered any of the other major religions? They're all pretty much the same."--Reverend Lovejoy”

“Now came details of Goldby's adventures with the Cooks and their band. "Chicken, Dynamite Dick, The Verdigris Kid. I wish these fellows read something other than Ned Buntline's Own. Why haven't I heard of this Goldsby before this?”

“Ned: I figured it was time for a picnic by the menagerie.Jenny: And you brought me? Why not take the woman you're marrying?Ned: She's grown up with the Duke of Ware. Lions seem less ferocious.”