“Nevertheless, Los Angeles is my "Home, Sweet Home." I chose it, and, as goes the cliché, I've made my bed—but I'll be damned if I'll lie in it or, worse, culturally die in it!”

“Listen, I'm against sin. I'll kick it as long as I've got a foot, I'll fight it as long as I've got a fist, I've butt it as long as I've got a head, and I'll bite it as long as I've got a tooth. And when I'm old, fistless, footless, and toothless, I'll gum it till I go home to glory and it goes home to perdition.”

“If he dies, I'll never go home. I'll spend the rest of my life in this arena, trying to think my way out.”

“If I get home, I'll be so stinking rich, I'll be able to pay someone to do my hearing.”

“If it's just a matter of looking, I've looked! I've looked for happiness at home. I've looked all over this neighbourhood for happiness... Someday, I'll look all over this country for happiness... And, someday, I'll look all around the world for happiness, but I'll probably never find it... Then, after I've looked all over the world, I'll return home.""And when you return home, you'll find the very happiness that was there all along! Is that what you're trying to say?""No, but maybe I'll find that stupid little pink bracelet I lost yesterday!”

“If I've made any "progress" it's that now I know I'll be an alcoholic till the day I die, and that is both my biggest cross and my greatest blessing.”