“Sure enough, he seemed to straighten a little more with every step of her fuck-me heels.”

“Please forgive me, Mother. I apologize for saying 'fuck.'"Then he straightened and addressed Doug. "Which, by the way, was repeated sixty-seven times in this particular film. It has a running length of ninety-four minutes. So last night while watching it, she heard fuck, or a derivative thereof, spoken every one and a half minutes, give or take a few seconds. But if my saying fuck offended her, then I'm fucking sorry.”

“Was he smart enough? Introspective enough? Was it just enough to love him, or should I attach myself to someone who seemed farther ahead of me, someone smarter and more ambitious than me, who'd be sure to carry me along into the version of adulthood I thought I should be striving for?”

“It's simply the case that as I get older, I seem every day to give a little bit less of a fuck what people think of or say about me.”

“A door shaped like a vagina is more inviting. Sure, I’ll come in, but not slouched over. Allow me to straighten up before I enter.”

“Alex snorted as he packed the wound with sticky rice."Is that stuff sterile?" Ted asked, staring at Alex."They boil it, don't they?" Alex said, not looking up from what he was doing.Ted's frown deepened. "That doesn't seem like enough.""Trust me." Alex looked up now and smiled a little. His voice altered just a little bit, not enough to be a full command voice, but enough to be way more persuasive than any normal person's voice. "It's an old wives' tale, but it works every time.”