“In every province, the chief occupations, in order of importance, are lovemaking, malicious gossip, and talking nonsense.”

“The most important decision you make is to be in a good mood.”

“But in this country it is necessary, now and then, to put one admiral to death in order to inspire the others to fight.”

“The more a man knows, the less he talks.”

“The discovery of what is true and the practice of that which is good are the two most important aims of philosophy.”

“Answer me, you who believe that animals are only machines. Has nature arranged for this animal to have all the machinery of feelings only in order for it not to have any at all?”

“It is demonstrable," said he, "that things cannot be otherwise than as they are; for as all things have been created for some end, they must necessarily be created for the best end. Observe, for instance, the nose is formed for spectacles, therefore we wear spectacles. The legs are visibly designed for stockings, accordingly we wear stockings. Stones were made to be hewn and to construct castles, therefore My Lord has a magnificent castle; for the greatest baron in the province ought to be the best lodged. Swine were intended to be eaten, therefore we eat pork all the year round: and they, who assert that everything is right, do not express themselves correctly; they should say that everything is best.”