“Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, "You can't cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!”
“Never give a sucker an even break.”
“It is funnier to bend things than to break them.”
“I like children. If they're properly cooked.”
“What contemptible scoundrel stole the cork from my lunch?”
“I always keep some whiskey handy in case I see a snake...which I also keep handy.”
“Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!”