“Now listen. If I think he’s awful we’ll just talk about the weather and the crops for a few minutes and then we’ll have an ominous pause and stare at him. That always makes a man feel a perfect fool and the moment a man feels a fool he gets up and goes.”

“I’m teleporting to Atlanta. I’m picking you up, and we’ll go someplace where our families can’t find us. We’ll take Seany. And we’ll let him run laps until he tires, and then you and I will take a long walk. Like Thanksgiving. Remember? And we’ll talk about everything BUT our parents … or perhaps we won’t talk at all. We’ll just walk. And we’ll keep walking until the rest of the world ceases to exist.”

“I also think Valkyire’s ex-boyfriend will come in handy here.”Ravel frowned, “The dead vampire?”Valkyrie glared at him, “I think he means Fletcher.”“Oh. Sorry.”“Caelen was never my boyfriend.”“I didn’t mean to-““We never talk about Caelen,” Ghastly muttered.”“I’m really sorry, Valkyrie, Ravel said. “Fletcher’s great. He’s wonderful. I’m sure he’d be delighted to help, and having a teleporter here will certainly solve some problems. We’ll arrange that, we’ll get him over to you, start the ball rolling, as it were. Once again, sorry about bringing up the vampire.”Ghastly shot him a look whispered, “Why do you keep talking about him?”“I can’t help it,” Ravel whispered back. “Now he’s all I can think about.”“You realise,” Valkyrie said, “that we can hear you both perfectly well.”

“There is no such thing as bad whiskey. Some whiskeys just happen to be better than others. But a man shouldn’t fool with booze until he’s fifty; then he’s a damn fool if he doesn’t.”

“What happens now is that if some unfortunate man goes to bed with some woman, overnight there's a divorce. He thinks and feels about the authenticity of his being, then they have to get married. So they just end up having serial marriages, which is distressing for the children. It would be much better if people just put up with the guilt of having erred and shut up.”

“A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes.”