“we're all bozos on the bus,so might as well sit backand enjoy the ride.”

“The whole earth is in jail and we're plotting this incredible jailbreak.”

“Keep your sense of humor, my friend; if you don't have a sense of humor it just isn't funny anymore. ”

“you aren't what you eat - you are what you don't poop.”

“if it's the best of anything, i have to have one. (when passing a food stand claiming to serve the world's best subways)”

“What we have in mind is breakfast in bed for 400,000”

“Even if you never, ever ride the bike it will still age. So you might as well ride it while it's pretty and enjoy the process of making it ugly.”