“I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.”
“My friend had sex with half of all the women in the city. I think he had sex with the lower half of all the women.”
“I’ve spent half my life searching for the truth. The left half of my life.”
“A friend told me that one day he and I would be rich and famous. I told him that I'd trade my half of the fame, for his half of the money.”
“I spend half my time comforting the afflicated, and the other half afflicting the comfortable.”
“Spent half of my life doing the wrong things, the wrong way. Plan to spent the rest half doing again the same wrong things, but the right way.”