“I've never hit a woman in my life. Not even my own mother.”
“I never hold a grudge. As soon as I get even with the son-of-a bitch, I forget it.”
“I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.”
“You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.”
“Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.”
“I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.”