“Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.”

“I've never hit a woman in my life. Not even my own mother.”

“I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.”

“If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.”

“Marry an outdoors woman. That way, if you have to throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive.”

“Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. ”

“It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.”