“If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.”
“I don't drink water. Fish fuck in it.”
“I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.”
“Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.”
“Never give a sucker an even break.”
“I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.”