“Gladstone .. spent his declining years trying to guess the answer to the Irish Question; unfortunately, whenever he was getting warm, the Irish secretly changed the Question, ...”

“With the ascension of Charles I to the throne we come at last to the Central Period of English History (not to be confused with the Middle Ages, of course), consisting in the utterly memorable Struggle between the Cavaliers (Wrong but Wromantic) and the Roundheads (Right but Repulsive).”

“N.B. – Do not on any account attempt to write on both sides of the paper at once.”

“I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.”

“No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.”

“Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night”

“I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.”