“Retreat""I can't explain why I did these things, except to say that I carry a little imp inside me whose ambrosia is my brother's wrath.”

“Ah,” Aarush says. “Someone seems a little blue. Did that brother of mine’s get you?” I nod briskly. Except for me and my brother, Ramil will cuddle to anyone. Only Aarush and I get the blue face of Hell.”

“There's a monster living inside of me, eating little bits of me everyday, and I can't seem to stop it. It makes me do things I don't want to do, say things I don't want to say.”

“Instead of ignoring me, Frankie was suddenly noticing every little thing I did, wondering why I did it. Christina started asking me questions about things, like I was the smarter brother. Dad was now confiding in me about things that were really none of my business, and Mom started treating me like I was actually a responsible human being. It was all very disturbing.”

“I need to explain all this to Adam in private. I can't get McGillicuddy to explain it to him. Something will be lost in translation.""Well, excuse me that I can't look at him all googly-eyed," my brother said."And he's liable to punch you," I said.”

“Before there was Cocaine or vodka or sex or any of that, there was fantasy. There was escape. That was my first addiction. I remember being a little kid and imagining everything different, myself different. How did I get the idea in my head at age eight that everything was better somewhere else? Why would a child have a hole inside that can't get full no matter what she does? The real world could never make me happy, so I retreated to the world inside my head. And as I grew, as the real world proved itself more and more painful, the fantasy world expanded.”