“I'm not really heaven material anyway, chickie babe. Sign me up for your team.”

“Stop calling me 'babe'. It's demeaning. I'm not a babe, I'm a woman”

“I don't really want people looking to me for inspiration. I just want to be a sign along the way that points toward Heaven.”

“Maybe a friend is someone who wants your updates. Even if they're boring. Or sad. Or annoyingly cutesy. A friend says "Sign me up for your boring crap, yes indeed"--because he likes you anyways. He'll tolerate your junk”

“The center snaps the ball to the quarterback!""No he doesn't!""He doesn't?""NO! Secretly, he's the quarterback for the other team! He keeps the ball!""A traitor!""Calvin breaks for the goal.""Wheeee! He's at the 30... the 20... the 10! Nobody can catch him!""Nobody wants to! Your running toward your own goal!""Huh?!""When I learned that you were a spy, I switched goals. This is your goal and mine's hidden!""Hidden?!""You'll never find it in a million years!""I don't need to find it as a traitor to your team, crossing my goal counts as crossing your goal!""Ah, so you might think so...""In fact, I know so!""But the place I hid my goal is right on top of your goal, so the points will go to me!""But the fact is, I'm really a double agent! I'm on your team after all, which means you'll lose points if I cross your goal! Ha ha!""But I'm a traitor too, so I'm really on your team! I want you to cross my goal! The points will go to your team, which is really my team!""That would be true... if I were a football player!""You mean...?""I'm actually a badminton player disguised as a double-agent football player!!""And I'm actually a volleyball-croquet-polo player!""Sooner or later, all our games turn into CalvinBall.""No cheating!”

“So...I'm going to ask you again, babe. Stay with me. Stay with me here in my house. It's only a five minute drive to your shop when it's open. And you can use this studio for your art. I promise to try not to snore. And to put the toilet seat down. Most of the time, anyway. Just stay with me. Please. I never want to be away from you again.”