“Get used to that, Nana. He has a way of appearing out of thin air.''Oh my. Asher. Hm. Hm. Hm. Turn around. He's beautiful, Campbell. Are you schtupping my granddaughter?' she asked him.'No, ma'am.''Well, I give you my permission.'And just liked that, Cam's love life was ruined forever. If and when she ever 'schtupped' Asher, she'd have to do everything she could not to think of her grandmotehr.”

“We just wanted to see how you were doing,' Asher said.'Well, that *is* a miracle,' said Perry. She took out her notebook and said out loud as she wrote, "Number forty: Campbell...has...friends.”

“Asher, help!' she cried as she climbed down the steep, twisting path to the beach.'Help. Don't help. You give me mixed messages.' Asher sighed as he stuck his keys into his pocket and followed Cam to the edge of the lawn.”

“She said she doesn't like your cooking. She said she'd rather eat a microwave dinner from the convenience store instead of something you cooked. Do you get it? Hm? Why are you being such a crybaby? Save the salt from your tears for seasoning.”

“Oh my God. For most of eternity, I won't exist. That leaves two options: live forever or destroy the universe. Hm... I may have to quit my day job for this.”

“I have to hear this all the time in England: "Well, all Americans are fat and stupid, mm-hm-hm-hm-hm." Really? Well, thanks for sending over the best and brightest to start the party. Maybe we can send a few freaky, Texas, militia, hate-group, gun-toting weirdoes back to your country.”