“Just go with it. You are a princess.''What does that *mean*, though?' Cam asked. 'How-''Oh, my God, Campbell. Be quiet!' He laughed.”

“Get used to that, Nana. He has a way of appearing out of thin air.''Oh my. Asher. Hm. Hm. Hm. Turn around. He's beautiful, Campbell. Are you schtupping my granddaughter?' she asked him.'No, ma'am.''Well, I give you my permission.'And just liked that, Cam's love life was ruined forever. If and when she ever 'schtupped' Asher, she'd have to do everything she could not to think of her grandmotehr.”

“Cam!' screamed Asher. 'Campbell look down.''Aren't you supposed to tell me not to look down?”

“You cannot conceive of the depths of my sorrow, Campbell Maria Cooper." Alicia brought her fist to her mouth and her other hand to the rail of the bed and took a deep breath before she continued. "I will never be the same when you are gone. Things for me will be dim and gray and flat. But there is one thing that will keep me going, Campbell, and that is the belief in my connection to you. This thing. This crazy enmeshed love feeling that I have is real. Like this cup is real. Or this phone is real. And it will not just go away when you do. Okay? Wherever you are going, you will be connected to me by this thing, and you will never, ever be alone, okay? I want you to know that.”

“This is the part of the horror film where you yell at the girl on the screen,'Don't *go*. You idiot! Don't go! Why are they always so stupid?' Cam *told* her mom he could be a serial killer.”

“We just wanted to see how you were doing,' Asher said.'Well, that *is* a miracle,' said Perry. She took out her notebook and said out loud as she wrote, "Number forty: Campbell...has...friends.”

“Thank God no one was bouncing.''You can say that again, Ass Whisperer.''Thank God no one was bouncing,' Cam said, and she started to drift off to sleep.”