“Artie: It's in here.Jim: Let's check this [box] first, Artie.Artie: Oh. [Finding a fake Sword of Kuniyoshi] Phony! How do you like that? Phony!Jim: Artie...so are our bonds.Artie: Oh. You can't trust anybody these days.Wild Wild West (TV) Season 3Night of the Samurai”

“Jim: I want you to search every place in this hotel where a crate of dynamite could possibly be stored.Artie: Right. And if I find it?Jim: I'll arrange for someone to pour cold water over your face to revive you.Wild Wild West (TV) Season 2Night of the Infernal Machine”

“W: Nobody's so gullible as scientists. All the phony mediums say so. Can't quite see why.J: Oh, yes, it would be so. They think they know, you see. That's always dangerous.~Wharton; Jessop”

“Dr. Loveless: Dang these pine needles. Why can't a forest be decently carpeted?Wild Wild West (TV) Second Season: Night of the Green Terror”

“I was in the land of fakes and frauds and phonies—I felt like saying “Howdy cousin,” to everybody who walked by.”

“It's full of phonies and all you do is study so that you can learn enough to be smart enough to be able to buy a golden Cadillac...”