“Love is like a reptile, you cut off its tail and it grows another one." Kiss Me Judas”

“If it was going to kill me or carry me off, I thought it would have done so already. But it just sat there, looking at me. Its tail swooshed suddenly, and it felt like I was looking at an overgrown cat in reptile form.”

“Neutrality may be useful, but it's useful like eunuchs are useful. Once you cut off their balls they grow big and strong, but you can never be sure if they will serve the harem or the master.”

“Marriage is like calculus. Complicated and inexplicably remote. People think it's about loving one another and riding off into the sunset, but no one tells you the horse is lame or that it's an eclipse, and there won't be a sunset that day.”

“Assholes are like weeds, a bitch to get rid of and when you do another one grows back in its place.”

“The rose is red, the violet's blue, Sugar's sweet and so are you. If you love me as I love you, No knife can cut our love in two. My love for you will never fail As long as pussy has a tail.”