“A few alligators are naturally of the vicious type and inclined to resent it when you prod them with a stick. You can find out which ones these are by prodding them.”

“He had also learned that there is no use murdering people; there are always so many left, and if you tried to murder them all you would never get anything else done.”

“There are 2,500 kinds of sponges, all of them consist largely of holes.”

“Just when you're beginning to think pretty well of people, you run across somebody who puts sugar on sliced tomatoes.”

“Unfortunately, this world is full of people who are ready to think the worst when they see a man sneaking out of the wrong bedroom in the middle of the night.”

“Armadillos make affectionate pets, if you need affection that much.”

“Never call anyone a baboon unless you are sure of your facts.”