“Just when you're beginning to think pretty well of people, you run across somebody who puts sugar on sliced tomatoes.”

“Unfortunately, this world is full of people who are ready to think the worst when they see a man sneaking out of the wrong bedroom in the middle of the night.”

“He had also learned that there is no use murdering people; there are always so many left, and if you tried to murder them all you would never get anything else done.”

“Whales are silly once every two years. The young are called short-heads or baby blimps. Many whale romances begin in Baffin's bay and end in Procter and Gamble's factory, Staten Island.”

“A few alligators are naturally of the vicious type and inclined to resent it when you prod them with a stick. You can find out which ones these are by prodding them.”

“All modern men are descended from wormlike creatures, but it shows more on some people.”

“Intelligence is the capacity to know what we are doing and instinct is just instinct. The results are about the same.”