“Never call anyone a baboon unless you are sure of your facts.”
“Unless you learn to wrap your brain around the fact that you are eventually going to die, you'll never wrap your arms around the fact that you are currently living.”
“Hey, you called me Sam. My actual name. Not Master or dumbass—” “I have never in my life called anyone dumbass.” “Are you sure?” “Yes. Now, focus.”
“MY rule is never to be rude to anyone unless you mean it.”
“A baboon in a forest is a matter of legitimate speculation; a baboon in a zoo is an object of public curiosity; but a baboon in your wife’s bed is a cause of the gravest concern.”
“Never look down on anyone unless you're looking down to offer your hand to help pick them up.”