“I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.”

“I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.”

“I joked about every prominent man in my lifetime, but I never met one I didn't like.”

“The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.”

“Lord, the money we do spend on Government and it's not one bit better than the government we got for one-third the money twenty years ago.”

“There are men running governments who shouldn't be allowed to play with matches.”

“Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're actually paying for.”