“If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.”

“When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.”

“I never met a person that I did not want to like”

“Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know “why” I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.”

“The only way to beat the lawyers is to die with nothing.”

“I joked about every prominent man in my lifetime, but I never met one I didn't like.”

“I never met a man that I didn't like.”