“It's a good thing the American people aren't getting all the government they're paying for.”

“Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're actually paying for.”

“Get all the good laughs you can.”

“Lord, the money we do spend on Government and it's not one bit better than the government we got for one-third the money twenty years ago.”

“The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.”

“There are men running governments who shouldn't be allowed to play with matches.”

“The problem ain't what people know. It's what people know that ain't so that's the problem.”