“An onion can make people cry, but there has never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh.”
“A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people. ”
“There are men running governments who shouldn't be allowed to play with matches.”
“If you can't identify it, don't stick it in your mouth.”
“Buy land. They ain't making any more of the stuff.”
“Most men are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”