“The only way to beat the lawyers is to die with nothing.”

“The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer. ”

“A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people. ”

“When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.”

“If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.”

“Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know “why” I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.”

“Everyone is ignorant, only on different subjects.”