“There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.”

“Liberty doesn’t work as well in practice as it does in speeches.”

“I'll bet you the time ain't far off when a woman won't know any more than a man.”

“A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people. ”

“The best way to make a fire with two sticks is to make sure one of them is a match.”

“There is no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.”

“Plans get you into things but you've got to work your way out.”