“There is no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.”

“Plans get you into things but you've got to work your way out.”

“Lord, the money we do spend on Government and it's not one bit better than the government we got for one-third the money twenty years ago.”

“There are men running governments who shouldn't be allowed to play with matches.”

“Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're actually paying for.”

“I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.”

“It's a good thing the American people aren't getting all the government they're paying for.”