“Oh be careful! There they go again!" said the old queen as his string broke spilling his balls over the floor.... "Stop them will you, James, you worthless old shit! Don't just stand there and let the master's balls roll into the coal-bin!”

“Caine tried to roll to his feet, but something was jabbing him in the crouch. He shook off the stars and saw Edilio standing over him. Edilio had the business end of his automatic rifle in a very sensitive place. "If you move, Caine, I will shoot your balls off," Edilio said. "Toto?" "He will," Toto said, "Although he's not sure it will be just your balls.”

“Kai cleared his throat. Stood straighter. "I assume you are going to the ball?""I-I don't know. I mean, no. No, I'm sorry, I'm not going to the ball."Kai drew back, confused. "Oh well... but... maybe you would change your mind? Because I am, you know.""The prince.""Not bragging," he said quickly. "Just a fact.”

“Isn't that just like a man. 450-fucking-years-old and he's still thinking with his balls!”

“You know the saying a rolling stone gathers no moss? I'm the opposite. I've gathered too much, and when one thing happens, it brings up everything else that's ever been similar to it. I don't just feel things once and then move on. I fell them over and over again, and the only new thing is whatever precipitated the memory of the old, so it never really feels new at all. Everything just gets integrated into one big giant ball...”

“Alexis grabbed his arm. "Tom Jones? Wow, I totally love Tom Jones. He's like quintessential Vegas—over the top and indecent fun. Let me just go grab a pair of underwear to throw at him and we'll be all set."Over his undead body. If anyone was getting her underwear tossed in his face, it was going to be him."I don't think so, Ball Buster. You're not giving your panties to an old man.""Oh, and you're so young, Garlic?""Garlic?" What the hell was that?"Yep. Now we have pet names for each other, isn't that adorable? You're Garlic and I'm Ball Buster. Now everyone will believe we're a real couple.”