“But Maine is a special place: there's something about untold acres of natural beauty in concert with an underachieving public school system that leads to deviations from the customary and commonsensical.”

“…Tell me, has anything odd happened to you recently?What do you mean, odd?'Unusual. Deviating from the customary. Something outside the usual parameters of normalcy. An occurrence of unprecedented weird.”

“I admit it in school I was an underachiever and it was so easy to do.”

“Jesus called fishermen, not graduates of rabbinical schools. The main requirement was to be natural and sincere.”

“There's nothing else in this world the color of a school bus. They call it yellow but it's not quite yellow, and it's not orange either. I'd say it's something somewhere in between margarine and Velveeta. It's not a natural color. Then again I guess if we wanted kids to grow up natural we wouldn't put them on a school bus in the first place.”

“Now, I have nothing against the public school system as it is presently organized, once you allow the humor of its basic assumption about how it is possible to teach things to children....”