“You ever get the feeling the world's filling up with bastards? I do. What I want to know is what happens when all the bastards run out of people to crap on? What happens when all that's left in the world is bastards? . . . The golden rule. Screw unto others before they screw unto you.”

“That's what happens when people reach old age; nobody remembers they've been bastards too.”

“Everything happens for a reason.Do not do unto others what you do not want others do unto you.”

“I am a bastard, too. I love bastards! I am bastard begot, bastard instructed, bastard in mind, bastard in valor, in everything illegitimate.”

“This is what happens when you try to help people. You get screwed.”

“I want to kill this degenerate bastard brother of yours. But I am not selfish, I do not want to deprive you of that honor.”

“You ever put your arms out and spin really, really fast ?Well, that's what loves like. It makes your heart race. It turns the world upside down. But if you're not careful, if you don't keep your eyes on something still, you can lose your balance. You can't see what's happening to the people around you. You can't see your about to fall.”