“Responsibilities and expectations are the basis of guilt and shame and judgement, and they provide the essential framework that promotes performance as the basis for identity and value...Honey, I've never placed an expectation on your or anyone else. The idea behind expectations requires that someone does not know the future or outcome and is trying to control behavior to get the required result. Humans try to control behavior largely through expectations. I know you and everything about you. Why would I have an expectation other than what I already know? And beyond that, because I have no expectations, you never disappoint me...What I do have is a constant and living expectancy in our relationship, and I give you an ability to respond in any situation and circumstance in which you find yourself. To the degree that you resort to expectations and responsibilities, to that extent you neither know me nor trust me...”

“Responsibilites and expectations are the basis of guilt and shame and judgement, and they provide the essential framework that promotes performance as the basis for identity and value. ”

“If you and I are friends, there is an expectancy that exists within our relationship. When we see each other or are apart, there is an expectancy of being together, of laughing and talking. The expectancy has no concrete definition; it is alive and dynamic and everything that emerges from our being together is a unique gift shared by no one else. ”

“You have no responsibility to live up to what other people think you ought to accomplish. I have no responsibility to be like they expect me to be. It's their mistake, not my failing.”

“You want to know why I live here, in this ‘hovel’; I think thatis the word you used, based on your civilized and educatedperception?”There was no use denying it. “Yes, I was wondering. Sowhy?”“It was the best you could give me.” She didn’t turn from herwork.“Excuse me? The best ‘I’ could give you? I had nothing to dowith this. I could build you something much better, but not this.How could you think…?”“It’s all right, Anthony! I have no expectations. I am grateful tohave found even this small place in your heart. I travel light”—she smiled as if at some secret thought—“and I make my homeinside the simplest gifts. There is nothing to feel bad or ashamedabout. I am thoroughly grateful, and being here is a joy!”“So… because this is me, my world somehow, I have onlymade this small place for you?”

“Do you become in visible?''No. I'm there, if you know how to look. I stand between the place you look at and the place you see. Behind what you expect to see. If you expect to see me, you do. I listen in places where no one expects me to be.”

“The person who lives by his fears will not find freedom in my [God's] love. I am not talking about rational fears regarding legitimate dangers, but imagined fears, and especially the projection of those into the future. To the degree that those fears have a place in your life, you neither believe that I [God] am good nor know deep in your heart that I love you. You sing about it, you talk about it, but you don't know it.”