“if I were the Moor I wouldn't want to be Iago.”
“If I were the color blue, and you were the color orange, I wouldn't want you around all the time, because who wants to be constantly complimented?”
“If I were God, I certainly wouldn't want people to love me sentimentally. It's too unreliable.”
“If I were dead, I wouldn't be sad, and I wouldn't be glad, because I wouldn't be.”
“What makes Iago evil? Some people ask. I never ask.”
“I wouldn't want to be a Russian leader. You'd never know when you were being taped.”