“O, that he were here to write me down an ass! But, masters, remember, that I am an ass; though it be not written down, yet forget not that I am an ass.”

“Dost thou not suspect my place? Dost thou not suspect my years? O that he were here to write me down an ass! But masters, remember that I am an ass. Though it be not written down, yet forget not that I am an ass. No, thou villain, thou art full of piety, as shall be proved upon thee by good witness. I am a wise fellow, and which is more, an officer, and which is more, a householder, and which is more, as pretty a piece of flesh as any is in Messina, and one that knows the law, go to . . . and one that hath two gowns, and everything handsome about him. Bring him away. O that I had been writ down an ass!”

“cupid, get your worthless ass down here”

“Hell, no, I’m not sober. You think I’d be doing this shit if I were? And I notice I don’t see your fat ass down here in the trenches so shut it before I forget I’m supposed to actually like you. (Syn)”

“I still am a little late, though. I'm trying. There's a lot of shit to do to pull this old ass together.”

“I mean, I think I am basically a cool girl, but I am also a pain in the ass.”