“One of the few certainties in life is that persons of certainty should certainly be avoided.”

“She divorced her husband, y' know. I never knew him, it was before I met Jane. Apparently she came back from work one mornin' an' found her husband in bed with the milkman. With the milkman, honest to God. Well, apparently, from that day forward Jane was a feminist. An' I've noticed, she never takes milk in her tea.”

“FRANK: Do you know Yeats?RITA: The wine lodge?FRANK: No, WB Yeats, the poet.RITA: No.FRANK: Well, in his poem 'The Wild Swans At Coole',Yeats rhymes the word "swan" with the word "stone". You see? That's an example of assonance.RITA: Yeah, means getting the rhyme wrong.”

“Marriage is like the Middle East, isn't it? There's no solution.”

“I'm not sayin' she's a bragger, but if you've been to Paradise, she's got a season ticket.”

“Dogmatism and skepticism are both, in a sense, absolute philosophies; one is certain of knowing, the other of not knowing. What philosophy should dissipate is certainty, whether of knowledge or ignorance.”

“The demand for certainty is one which is natural to man, but is nevertheless an intellectual vice.”