“An old battleax of a woman said to Winston Churchill, "If you were my husband I would put poison in your tea." Churchill's response, "Ma'am if you were my wife I would drink it.”

“Lady Nancy Astor: Winston, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea.Churchill: Nancy, if I were your husband, I'd drink it.”

“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend ... if you have one."— George Bernard Shaw, playwright (to Winston Churchill)"Cannot possibly attend first night; will attend second, if there is one."— Churchill's response”

“Mr Churchill, to what do you attribute your success in life?Conservation of energy. Never stand up when you can sit down. And never sit down when you can lie down.”

“If I was your wife, I would poison your coffee.""Madam, if I was your husband, I would drink it!”

“My wife and I tried to breakfast together, but we had to stop or our marriage would have been wrecked.”

“-Sir, se lei fosse mio marito, io le avvelenerei il tè.-Madam, se lei fosse mia moglie, io lo berrei."Dialogo tra Lady Astor e Winston Churchill”