“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend ... if you have one."— George Bernard Shaw, playwright (to Winston Churchill)"Cannot possibly attend first night; will attend second, if there is one."— Churchill's response”

“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend ... if you have one."— George Bernard Shaw, playwright (to Winston Churchill)"Cannot possibly attend first night; will attend second, if there is one."— Churchill's response”

“While browsing in a second-hand bookshop one day, George Bernard Shaw was amused to find a copy of one of his own works which he himself had inscribed for a friend: "To ----, with esteem, George Bernard Shaw."He immediately purchased the book and returned it to the friend with a second inscription: "With renewed esteem, George Bernard Shaw.”

“Winston Churchill said 'In war time, truth is so precious that she should always be attended by a bodyguard of lies'. Any book called The Truth should therefore have one. ”

“An old battleax of a woman said to Winston Churchill, "If you were my husband I would put poison in your tea." Churchill's response, "Ma'am if you were my wife I would drink it.”

“They have only two possible messages. The first is an automatic response to the second, and the second is an automatic response to the first.The first is, ”Here I am, here I am, here I am.”The second is, ”So glad you are, so glad you are, so glad you are”