“There is only one cure for grey hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.”

“Above all, one hideous figure grew as familiar as if it had been before the general gaze from the foundations of the world - the figure of the sharp female called La Guillotine. It was the popular theme for jests; it was the best cure for headache, it infallibly prevented hair from turning gray, it imparted a peculiar delicacy to the complexion, it was the National Razor which shaved close: who kissed La Guillotine looked through the little window and sneezed into the sack.”

“And in that one grey hair I saw my whole life and I said "I think I need a hair.”

“next to it was a dvd called 'as i get laid dying,' which had a hospital scene on the front. it was like grey's anatomy, only with less grey and more anatomy.”

“I think hiccup cures were really invented for the amusement of the patient's friends.”

“The person who doesn't scatter the morning dew will not comb grey hairs”