“Make your life like toilet paper. Long and usefull.”
“Make life like toilet paper - long and usefull”
“Everyone had taken their places, when I excused myself to visit the bathroom, and there, in the toilet, was the absolute biggest turd I have ever seen in my life - no toilet paper or anything, just this long and coiled specimen, as thick as a burrito.”
“I want to publish a book on toilet paper—not only about toilet paper, but actually print it on toilet paper. That way nobody will be surprised by how shitty my book is.”
“I'd appreciate if you'd grow the hell up and stop walking around like the world crapped on your only roll of toilet paper.”
“Boxes of toilet paper make the best birthday presents. They really show I give a shit.”