“Arlene and I have to get a divorce. She thinks I'm a pervert because I drank our water bed.”

“If anyone thinks that I amn't divineHe'll get no free drinks when I'm making the wineBut have to drink water and wish it were plainThat I make when the wine becomes water again.”

“I'm sorry. I never think to check my messages and I don't have a clue where that cell phone is.'She looked around as if she might find it in the flower bed.”

“I have this theory about divorce. I have a theory that is never a tragedy for adults and always a tragedy for children. Adults can lose weight, find someone nicer, get their life back. Divorce gives grown-ups a get-out-of-jail-free card. It is the children who pay the price, and pay it for the rest of their lives. But we can't admit that, all us scarred veterans of the divorce court, because it would mean admitting that we have inflicted wounds on our children that they will carry for the rest of their lives.”

“She edged closer. “If this is your attempt to scare me away because you think I should be with a mortal man, it’s not going to work.” She rolled her eyes. “Been there, done that, have the divorce papers to prove it.”

“I want to get married, but first I’ll have to get a divorce.”