“Eighty percent of success is showing up.”

“In perpetrating a revolution, there are two requirements: someone or something to revolt against and someone to actually show up and do the revolting. Dress is usually casual and both parties may be flexible about time and place, but if either faction fails to attend, the whole enterprise is likely to come off badly.”

“In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.”

“God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.”

“Never shoot up in the air when you're standing under it.”

“If Jesus came back and saw what was going on in his name, he'd never stop throwing-up.”

“If Jesus came back and saw what was being done in his name, he'd never stop throwing up.”