“I am at two with nature.”

“I love nature, I just don't want to get any of it on me.”

“I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.”

“I can't fight. I was once run over by a car with a flat tire, being pushed by two guys.”

“My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.”

“Love is too weak a word for what I feel - I luuurve you, you know, I loave you, I luff you, two F's, yes.”

“I have no idea what I am doing but incompetence has never prevented me from plunging in with enthusiasm.”