“I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.”

“You're still in love''No I'm not, I'm not She'll always be a part of me, and she's an important person in my life but for the two of us something wasn't working.''What element?''We never found out”

“Because it's much more pleasant to be obsessed over how the hero gets out of his predicament than it is over how I get out of mine.”

“I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.”

“I believe people ought to mate for life...like pigeons or Catholics.”

“Curiosity, that's what kills us. Not muggers or all that bullshit about the ozone layer. It's our own hearts and minds.”

“How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?”