“If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.”

“The worst mockery God can make of a moralist is that He compels him to be asolipsist.”

“The worst thing a kid can say about homework is that it is too hard. The worst thing a kid can say about a game is it's too easy.”

“You can tell more about a person by what he says about others than you can by what others say about him.”

“Suddenly I like him. Cristina can't take her eyes away. She asks when he was born, and it turns out he's a Sagittarius which is a very good sign. 'Really?' 'It's one of the best for me,' she says. 'Scorpio is the worst.”

“He disregards my opinions and wishes at every turn, with his neurotic, challenging ways, and now I fear I’m becoming neurotic and challenging as well. He brings out the worst in me, and I know damn well I bring out the worst in him.”