“If she were lying on a plate with a herring, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference.”

“I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.”

“It's a wonderful thing to be able to create your own world whenever you want to.”

“The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.”

“Mrs. Sol Schwimmer is suing me because I made her bridge as I felt it and not to fit her ridiculous mouth! That's right! I can't work to order like a common tradesman! I decided her bridge should be enormous and billowing, with wild, explosive teeth flaring up in every direction like fire! Now she is upset because it won't fit in her mouth! She is so bourgeois and stupid. I want to smash her! I tried forcing the false plate in but it sticks out like a star burst chandelier. Still, I find it beautiful.”

“If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.”

“Abysmal vermin that I am, I couldn't of course tell her that it was her incredible mother that I wanted to see again… I knew only as I drove through the cold, night autumn air that somewhere Freud, Sophocles and Eugene O’Neill were laughing.”